Behind Seriousness
by Theater Raven
Summary: Keokum reflects on his feelings for Pocahontas on the night he dies. Please read and review.


Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in this story, Disney does.

**Behind Seriousness**

"Keokum?"

"What is it?" I ask, looking up from sharpening my knife. It is Nakoma. She looks frightened.

"It's Pocahontas," she finally says and I jump to my feet.

"What's wrong? Is she all right?"

"I—I think she's in trouble." Nakoma says. She then tells me that she had seen her friend go off into the woods by herself and warns me to be careful when I look for her because Pocahontas has apparently gotten to know one of the strange men who have recently landed here in our home.

I take my knife with me and set off into the woods. I walk past the huts, past the cornfields, and finally enter the forest. There, I see her footprints in the soft mud of the riverbank and I follow them. They stop at the edge of the river and I assume she had begun to travel by canoe, so I get into one and paddle in the direction that I think she went.

She perhaps has gone to consult her willow spirit, as I know she often does. I paddle quickly, making my way along the shiny water. The river had always been familiar to me, yet tonight it seemed strange, lit by the stars and moon. I am halfway to the glade and now the calmness of being out on the water at night begins to soothe down my adrenaline. My thoughts, like the current, begin to sweep away….

Pocahontas. We had known each other as children, she being the most free-spirited of all the girls, and she and I had often played together. She would volunteer the other girls without their permission to challenge us boys at a race or swimming contest and she was always one of the winners. Many of the boys did not like being challenged and often beaten by a girl, but I found it funny.

When we were about twelve, both Pocahontas and I parted to learn the various skills we needed to live as adults and I went off to learn the art of war. I was fighting in battle by the time I was fourteen. Though we won the first war I fought in, I returned unsmiling. I had seen too many terrible things to be glad about victory. Was winning by killing people supposed to make you smile?

I was sent off to battle after battle. Many friends died. I was wounded several times. I always returned unsmiling, even with victories, even when I was being honored for one accomplishment or another during ceremonies after I returned. Soon, I forgot how to smile.

When I was around nineteen, I saw Pocahontas and her friend Nakoma sitting in the tall cornstalks, picking corn. I'd seen them doing this many times before, but this time seemed special. I had no idea why. After that, whenever I saw Pocahontas, I got flutters in my stomach, like I was headed off to face an undefeatable enemy. Then, I finally realized that I was in love with Pocahontas.

I would dream of her countless nights. Each dream grew more and more—how do I put this?—adult-themed? I guess that's the best explanation; those who are old enough to understand can figure it out! In my waking hours, upon recalling the dreams, I would yearn for her even more, but didn't have the courage to tell her. Finally, I approached a shaman and asked him for advice. The shaman prayed to the spirits and came back with an answer beyond my expectations.

"The spirits tell me that your detailed dreams are their signs to you that you are destined to marry Pocahontas."

"What?" I cried, overjoyed. "Are you sure?"

"Yes," the shaman said. "I asked the spirits the same thing and they said, 'Why would we have Keokum dream such dreams if it were not so?' and I said, 'Very well, thank you, spirits,' and left it at that."

I was thrilled. Oh, I was so happy! I hadn't felt this happy since my boyhood! I was going to marry Pocahontas, the beautiful girl I'd been madly in love with for….a really, really, really long time!

Now, how was everybody else going to find out? I wondered about this and thought, _Wait a second, everyone finds out when the man asks the girl's father for permission! I have to go to the chief and ask for permission to marry his daughter? Oh, no! I'm not good with things like this! Calm down, Keokum, you can do this! How bad could it be?_

I dressed in the finest clothes I had, combed my hair, and walked to the hut of the chief.

"Keokum!" he greeted me, "What a pleasant surprise! Please, come in."

We walked in and sat down by the fire.

"Would you like something to eat?" he asked and handed me some stew in a bowl. I ate a few bites even though I wasn't hungry, just to be polite. Then, I set my bowl down and looked the chief in the eyes.

"I have something important to tell you," I began, my voice not shaking as much as I'd feared. He looked at me with concern, sensing my nervousness. I took a deep breath, closing my eyes, and then opening them again.

"I love your daughter and I want to marry her," I blurted out.

He looked at me for a long time, then, his face broke into a grin. He laughed, rose from his seat, and came over to embrace me.

"It would make my heart soar!" he cried. "You have my blessing and may you two be as happy as you deserve to be."

I sighed in relief. Pocahontas was nearly mine! Except there was one thing left….I still had to tell her how I felt and then propose to her. Oh, boy, would I be able to do it? Well. I'd gotten through asking her father, of course I could!

But before I could, war broke out again. The chief, myself, and all the other warriors made our way to the battle and fought. I did exceptionally well in this combat, maybe it was because I knew if I lived through it, I would be going home to the one I loved and that once we were married….oh, what a happy night our wedding night would be! Feasting and dancing and then, once all had departed to their huts, we would part into our new house, into our bed as a married couple, and then….well….you can guess.

The battle finished and with victory on our side, we returned home and the announcement was made that a feast would be held in my honor. I was excited. There'd never been a whole feast because of me before. After this announcement, the tribe dispersed and I went off to reflect on how to tell Pocahontas how I felt about her.

I passed her father's hut. Oh, I loved her so much! All through the fighting, all I'd thought about was her. All I'd wanted was to get home to her and see her look at me with the adoration and love that I'd certainly gaze at her with once I told her. Today was the day I was going to tell her.

"Keokum!" cried several little voices. Children ambushed me from the brush, begging for me to tell them about the fighting. I just stood there. I didn't want them to know about the suffering war was. To them, it was all a game of winning and losing, that was all. They didn't need to know yet what it really was: death and destruction.

Then, the back flap of the chief's hut parted and I saw the chief standing with his daughter. Oh, she was so beautiful. She looked directly at me, not with love, but with concern. Over the laughter of the children at my side, I could hear them talking.

"But he's so…._serious,_" Pocahontas was saying.

"My daughter, Keokum will make a fine husband. He is loyal and strong and will build you a good house with sturdy walls. With him, you will be safe from harm."

I pulled away from the ring of children. I didn't want to hear any more. I ran through the woods and dropped down by the river.

I cried, my tears dripping into the water before me. Oh, she did not love me! This hurt worse than all my wounds of war put together. I ceased weeping, stood, and brushed the mud from my clothes….It would take time, but one day, she would care for me as much as I cared for her. She will love me.

I am near the glade now. I stop my canoe and tiptoe through the soggy ground. Willow vines hang in my face and I gently part them. Oh, Pocahontas, are you here? Where are you?

Suddenly, I get my answer and wish I hadn't. There, in the midst of a clearing surrounded by willow vines is Pocahontas. An invader is beside her. He says something I cannot hear and even if I could, I probably would not understand it, but Pocahontas obviously does because she throws her arms around his neck. He seems surprised, but eventually embraces her back.

My eyes widen. A thousand questions enter my mind, but they all flee when I see what happens next. Pocahontas' head is resting on his shoulder, and, turning her head ever so slightly, she kisses him and he responds to her. My heart races in me. How dare she! I watch in envy. How dare these demons come in our midst and then, one of them is stealing away the only woman I've ever loved!

Their kiss deepens, their embrace tightens. My heart feels as though it is being squeezed by a great hand. How many times have my dreams led Pocahontas and me far past merely kissing? How many times have I yearned for her to kiss me and hold me as she now does to the invader? How long have I loved her?

_O, Great Spirit, you know how much I love her! Give me strength for what I'm about to do. This is for her own good._

I give my most ferocious war cry and rush forward, knocking the white man to the ground. Everything is happening so quickly. He pushes me away, but I'm up again, knife in hand. Pocahontas grabs me as I lunge at him, saying, "Leave him alone!" but I shove her aside. We struggle and I nearly have the knife in his throat when she is up again.

"Keokum, stop!"

She seizes my wrists and slowly but surely pushes me away from the white man's throat. I never knew she had such a powerful grip!

Suddenly, a crack like thunder sounds through the air. Pain grips my chest. Oh, what is it? It is worse than the pain of the sharpest arrow. My vision dims…..all I see is her.

I reach out and grab for something….her mother's necklace. I mean to cry out, "Help me," but only a ragged gasp comes out. She gasps and I tug on the necklace. The beautiful blue seashell that the necklace is made of breaks in my hands…I can feel myself falling backwards….I hit the water of the river…..

_Oh, Pocahontas, I love you._


End file.
